– 6 Min Read
Introduction
One of the most overlooked spiritual disciplines is prayer, specifically in men. This is not to be the case. In fact, men are not just to be leaders in the home and society, but are to be the leaders in every category, including spiritual disciplines. Husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25), and Christ prayed over the Church (John 17). Not only did Christ pray over the Church, but He still does (Rom. 8:34). If this is the call and Christ is the model, let the Christian husband be devoted to praying over his bride just as Christ is. As the federal head of the marriage covenant, the husband must pray over his wife. Let us examine three main subject matters that should be the basis of the husband’s prayers for his wife and corresponding prayers for himself as the husband.
That She Would Love God’s Law
Oh how I love Your law!
– Psalm 119:97 (LSB)
It is my meditation all the day.
Assuming the wife of the Christian husband is indeed a believer, this would be the next best thing to pray for, second to her salvation. The law of God is “better [for her] than thousands of gold and silver pieces” (Psalm 119:72). God has designed His laws that when we obey them, it brings blessing, and when we disobey them, it brings cursing. We want our wives to be blessed by God. To have a wife who delights in God’s law is to have what Solomon describes as an excellent wife worthy to be praised: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). To have a wife that loves God’s law is to have a wife who fears the Lord, they go hand in hand. It will be a blessing to the husband (and their children) to have a wife who loves the law of God. Not only will her love for God’s law produce great prosperity in all that she does, like the Proverbs 31 woman (31:12-29), but it will grant her assurance (John 14:15).
Corresponding to this prayer for the wife, the husband should petition God for help in leading the wife in these things. It is the Christian husband’s responsibility to lead his wife in the Word of God. The husband should not only exclaim, “As for me and my house, we will serve Yahweh” (Joshua 24:15), but also show his household how to serve Yahweh. If the husband does not love God’s law, why should he expect his wife to love God’s law? Let the husband pray that God would do the very thing in him that he wishes to be done in his wife. A prayer like, “Lord, help me lead my wife in Your Word and may You grant much fruit in us as a couple; that we would love Your laws and keep Your commandments by Your Spirit” is a prayer that will be honored. After all, this is what the Spirit is promised to do in us (John 14:16-21,23-26).
That She Would Be Assured In Christ
Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
– Hebrews 10:22 (LSB)
I cannot think of a more meaningful prayer for the Christian than a prayer of assurance. To live out your life in the assurance of your salvation is a most glorious thing! Why would I not want that security and joy for my wife? Of course, I want her to enjoy Christ and all of His benefits, keep His commands, and minister the gospel to others faithfully, but I also want her to carry an assurance with her while she does these things. What a balm for the soul and a soothing wash for the conscience when we have the assurance of God’s love for us in Christ Jesus. What a great blessing it is to live out the Christian life knowing that you are loved by God, to know that you are adopted by the Heavenly Father, to know that Christ Jesus atoned for your sins. As husbands, we should want our wives to not only love God’s law but to feel God’s love. A great prayer the husband can pray for his wife would be, “Father, please grant unto my wife the most blessed assurance of Your love for her; that she would carry out all her Christian duties with such a peace in her soul and a safety in her conscience, knowing that she is loved and kept by You in Christ.“
Corresponding to this prayer for the wife is the prayer that God would grant unto the husband words of assurance to share with his wife. There are many times when the husband will not be able to give assurance to his wife in all of this fallen world’s scenarios. However, we can always grant assurance of the salvation that is in Christ Jesus to those who love Him (Rom. 8:28-30). The husband can always be ready to encourage the wife’s trust in God by reminding her how He always keeps His promises, that He is always faithful to His children. To do this, the Christian husband needs to be confident in the Scriptures. The greatest way to assure the saint is with the Word of God. Therefore, let the Christian husband be marked as someone who is well-versed in the Scriptures and regularly recites them to his wife.
That She Would Be Healthy
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.
– 3 John 1:2 (LSB)
After praying for the wife’s spiritual health, it is then appropriate to pray for her physical health. Just as we want our wives’ souls to prosper, we want our wives’ bodies to prosper too. For some odd reason, this can be a contested theological issue. In prosperity theology, a component of receiving the gospel is receiving health and wealth. For this view, it is an indicator that someone is either not a true believer or at least not a very good one, if they are unhealthy or struggling financially. But in poverty theology, the idea of being unhealthy and poor somehow communicates one to be more holy. This appears to be a form of some gnostic way of viewing this life in the world. Just because someone is unhealthy does not mean they are more holy. Both of these views offer violence to the gospel and are incompatible with Scripture. There is nothing wrong with praying for the physical health of our wives. Truly, the husband who does not seek his wife’s physical well-being proves to hate himself (Eph. 5:28-30) and goes against his nature as protector and provider (1 Tim. 5:8). Husbands should pray for their wives to not only be strong in their faith but strong in their bodies as well.
17 She girds herself with strength
– Proverbs 31:17,25 (LSB)
And makes her arms strong.
25 Strength and majesty are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
Corresponding to this prayer for the wife, the husband should evaluate himself and see how helpful he is in this area. If the husband is working his wife beyond her abilities and outside the call of her nature, then he is the one who needs to work harder. We are to remember that our wives are the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7), and that it is we who are to carry the burdens, and that our wives are simply to help. Let the Christian husband pray that God would make him a great protector and provider for his wife, just like the men in Nehemiah’s day (Neh. 4:12-14).
Conclusion
The husband who has a wife who loves God’s law, is assured in Christ, and is physically healthy, has a lot to be thankful for. For some, these things could be rare or be a more difficult struggle to have. Therefore, let us not take them for granted. Husbands, when God has been so kind as to work both spiritually and physically in our spouses, we ought to give Him great praise! Let us remember that these are some of the most loving prayers we can offer up for our wives. Godly husbands want their wives to prosper in all areas of their lives, and that is something we do not control (God does), but it is something we can assist in (God’s will).