– 6 Min Read
Introduction
Another element of the discussion as to why children should be a part of corporate worship is the examination of potential Elders and Deacons. This is something that is hardly considered in the church. I wish to quickly tease out the problem churches will face in electing and examining Elders and Deacons biblically and fairly when their children are not present in the public worship on the Lord’s Day.
Elders
In Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus, we read a lot about the responsibilities of an Elder (pastor). Both in 1st Timothy and in Titus we see Paul list the qualifications to be met for the office of Elder and things the church is supposed to look for in a candidate for that office. One of them is concerning how “he manages his own household.”
Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
– 1 Timothy 3:2-5 (ESV)
A candidate for the office of Elder is to be a man known for managing his own house. He is to be a man who promotes order and structure in the home and does this “with all dignity“. Paul says that the man’s management of the house is to be done “well“, not perfect, but “well“. This word means “excellently, nobly, commendably.” A qualified Elder is to be known for leading his house nobly and honorably; not through abuse, anger, or threats, but with commendable leadership.
His children are to be known by the church as “submissive” children. A man is to only be considered for the office if his children are obedient and godly. I wish to point out that perfection is not the mark for these children nor is it the mark for the Elder. Rather, a characterization or a reputation of obedience is what the church is to be looking for in the children and well-rounded leadership is to be seen in the father. Paul explains in more detail what we are to be looking for in his letter to Titus.
This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.
– Titus 1:5-6 (ESV)
In other words, churches need to elect men as Elders who have Christian children. These children are not only known as well-behaved but as believers. The Greek word pistos is translated as “faithful, believing” and it is never used in the Bible to describe an unbeliever. The ESV translates it very well. (For more on “believing children and Titus 1:6”; look for an article coming soon).
Building off of Paul’s point in 1 Timothy 3:5; “for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” There is so much packed in this question Paul poses. How should we expect a man to lead the congregation in the things of God when he couldn’t do it for his own children? If a man did not effectively shepherd his children by teaching them to obey all Christ has commanded, then how should we expect him to do it for the congregation? These are things that need to be considered and not having the children present in church will make this more difficult.
Deacons
Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
– 1 Timothy 3:12-13 (ESV)
Even though Deacons will not bear the responsibility of preaching to or teaching the congregation like the Elders, they are held to a similar standard as the Elders are. This is because they still bear some level of authority and responsibility in ministering to the congregation. They must be men who lead and manage well. If they are to manage the care of the widows in the church (Acts 6:1-6), for example, but cannot even manage the care of their own family (1 Tim. 5:8), then what good are they?
Deacons and their families could be privy to sensitive information about the people they help and minister to. The integrity of their wives (1 Tim. 3:11) and the godliness of their children must be evident enough for the congregation to see so they can confidently trust them. Again, we find ourselves asking; How are we to examine, “test” (1 Tim. 3:10), the men in the church for possibly being a Deacon when we are hardly around their children?
One of the things a church should want to see is men who lead their families well. When it comes time to appoint new Elders and Deacons, the church should desire to have men who raise their children in the word of God. With children being removed from the church and sent off somewhere else to be taught, it makes it more challenging for the congregation to truly examine the men in the church and begin to consider them for an office. The church is to seek men who “hold to the mystery of the faith“.
Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.
– 1 Timothy 3:8-9 (ESV)
One of the ways you can tell a man holds to the gospel with a clear conscience is by examining his children. Does it appear that he shares the gospel with his children regularly? Do they behave, think, and talk differently from other children you are around? Finding godly children will usually lead you to parents who have been saturating their children in the gospel. Men who do this with their children are who Paul wants to see as Elders and Deacons in the church.
Conclusion
All of this is to say, that it is very important to have the children present during corporate worship. Having a segregated church (children separated from adults during worship) will make the task of electing, appointing, and confirming Elders and Deacons almost impossible or at least leave you with incomplete information. The congregation does not really know the children of a potential candidate for the office of Elder or Deacon; but by worshipping alongside the children, observing their behavior, and witnessing their fruits, it will make it easier for the congregation to approve or disapprove of men for these important offices.