-3 Min Read
I’ve realized a growing trend in Christian culture. There is a lack of sanctity in marriage. Maybe this isn’t a new trend, but it has caught my attention how couples tend to plan more for their wedding day than their marriage. Of course, marriage is encouraged amongst Christians. Purity before marriage is commended. Scripture verses on leadership and submission are quoted in many ceremonies. And you rarely hear a wedding without the mention of 1 Corinthians 13. But how many of these couples follow these traditions because they truly believe them? In Christian circles, many “know” the right answers, yet they don’t believe them, let alone practice what God’s word commands. This conundrum has brought Proverbs 20:25 to mind,
It is a trap for a man to say rashly, “It is holy!”
– Proverbs 20:25
And after the vows to make inquiry.
The vows of marriage are a holy moment. They are to be deeply considered before the wedding day. They are to be set apart, especially in an age of ungodly relationships and hasty retreats from vows promised. As Christians, we should be digging deeper into God’s word to understand the responsibility of marriage. Here are just a few concepts that are necessary to know before marriage:
- Marriage is to follow God’s design from creation, of being between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24).
- Marriage comes with a command to be fruitful and multiply.[1] Children are a blessing! And should not be postponed for a couple to travel or “find themselves” (Genesis 1:28).
- Marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-24).
- Marriage is to follow God’s design for the husband to lead and the wife to submit (Ephesians 5:22-24).
- Marriage is to be honored in every way by all people (Hebrews 13:4).
Having a Biblical understanding of each of these concepts can eliminate a vast number of issues that a couple may struggle with. When the couple is armed with an understanding of God’s commands, they are able to more willingly be held accountable. But a couple who has no understanding of how marriage is to function will only stumble along through pride and arrogance. Let’s look at the effects of not following these basic concepts that God has given us:
- Marriage is not possible if it is not between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:4-6).
- Ignoring the command of having children due to selfish reasons will only breed
more selfishness (James 3:16). - Marriage that is not centered on Christ is missing the mark of all that God intended it to portray (Ephesians 5:22-33).
- The marriage that is primarily led by the wife is going against God’s design and will only lead to chaos (1 Timothy 2:12-14).
- Marriage that is dishonored is in direct disobedience to God (1 Thessalonians
4:3-5).
It is the Christian’s duty to “try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:10). Too many Christian couples rush into marriage because of physical temptation or with blind hope that they will just figure things out later. Friends, this is not the attitude that God has commanded us to have. Instead, He has commanded us that in “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men…” (Colossians 3:23). Marriage is first and foremost to be for God’s glory. May we not take the marriage vows lightly! For you are not just making a vow to your spouse, but you are vowing before God to honor His creative design of marriage.
A Word of Caution
Single or unmarried friends, please make an inquiry before rashly making your vows. Do this by searching the Scriptures and finding godly counsel from trusted believers who will hold you accountable. Do not allow fleshly desires or pride to have a foothold in your life. 2 Timothy 2:22 reminds us,
“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
– 2 Timothy 2:22
Married friends, if you realize you took your vows lightly, I want to urge you not to be stagnate in your marriage! The same encouragement applies to you; search God’s word and seek biblical counsel. Repent to your spouse for not loving them according to God’s word. Come humbly before the Lord and ask Him to grow your understanding, deepen your commitment, and sanctify your marriage. The Lord in His infinite grace will draw near to those who draw near to Him (James 4:8).
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautifully designed gift from God. It is to be cherished and enjoyed! And the only way to truly enjoy a gift from God is by understanding His design for it. Proverbs 16:20 says, “He who gives attention to the word will find good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.” What a wonderful verse to apply to all of life! The Lord has given us the necessary tools to glorify Him in our marriages. Take advantage of this kindness.
[1] Footnote: I understand that due to our fallen world, it is not always possible for a couple to physically have children together. However, the command is still valid for those who are able.