– 15 Min Read
Introduction
Why is in that in the last 70 years or so the evangelical church in America decided to segregate children from the general assembly on the Lord’s Day? Why is there such a thing as “children’s church“? Did this come from the outside or the inside? Was this decision influenced by the culture or was it a spillover from the seeker-sensitive movement? What does God think about this and what is His view towards children? These are some things I wish to explore and consider as we discuss the lack of children participating in corporate worship on Sundays.
The Culture and
It’s Hatred of Children
Before we talk about the culture’s hatred of children we first need to understand how we got here. For the sake of time, I will not get into a detailed history but offer a summary. The culture in America is without a doubt a culture of death. We are a society that prioritizes comfort, convenience, and self-worship. Anything that brings us discomfort must instantly be eradicated. Anything that inconveniences our plans or dreams must be slain. Anything that interferes with our self-worship must be destroyed. This is because there is no ‘love for the neighbor‘ in our country. We are a nation of selfishness.
Children as a whole are undesirable now. We as a people have bought into the lie that children are a burden, that they get in the way of our happiness, and that they actually contribute to the destruction of society. A recent study shows that; 51% of young adults say they would like to have children one day, while 31% say they’re not sure, and 18% say they don’t want any [1]. That is almost half of the country that has no want for children in their lives. The study also shows that out of those who express interest in having children, 57% of them are young men, while only 45% are women [2].
We are largely a nation that does not want children in our lives. We have also bought into the lie that the earth is “over-populated” and we need to restrict or regulate birthing children. There are several articles and papers written to explain why more and more people are refusing to have children as an effort to help “save the planet” [3].
The last nationally recorded number of abortions was done back in 2021 by the CDC. In its report, it found that in just 46 states and the District of Columbia, 625,978 abortions were performed [4]. This seems to be a purposely skewed number given what was recorded the year prior. The Guttmacher Institute estimated that 930,160 abortions were committed nationally in 2020 [5]. It seems unlikely that in 2021 abortions declined, (and no one seems to be making that case), but we simply just do not have a good idea of how many there have been nationally since 2020. Since the overturn of Roe in June of 2022, there could be a decline in number but not because of cultural desire.
Still, 62% of U.S. adults believe that abortion should be legal in all or most cases [6]. 60% of women who have abortions in America are already mothers. Half of those women have at least two or more children according to 2019 data from the CDC [7]. There does not seem to be a particular category of people who do not want children and want abortion legal. Abortion appears to be wanted in our country across the board.
In 1 Corinthians 15:55 Paul famously quotes from the prophet Hosea saying; “O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?” This is quoted from Hosea 13:14. But when surveying the depravity of our society I am reminded of what the Lord says through Hosea in 13:16 to Ephraim/Samaria.
Samaria will be held guilty,
– Hosea 13:16
For she has rebelled against her God.
They will fall by the sword;
Their infants will be dashed in pieces,
And their pregnant women will be ripped open.
When a nation turns against God they are given over to destruction. When we think of God’s judgment coming upon a nation we typically fathom it in some apocalyptic fashion, (though in Day of The Lord, it will), but there is an immediate, or partial, fulfillment to be felt now. The U.S., like Ephraim, is being held guilty for their rebelling against God. As a nation, we have not only forsaken His laws but have forsaken Him and now God is bringing destruction upon us. Our children are being dashed into pieces. God has indeed handed us over to ourselves. But like Ephraim, the U.S. can repent and return to God.
Return, O Israel, to Yahweh your God,
– Hosea 14:1
For you have stumbled in your iniquity.
Given the diagnosis of our country why on earth would we want their input on how the church should be run? Contrary to evangelistic models proposed by the likes of men like Timothy Keller, church worship should not be consulted with the culture it is ministering to. That, my friends, is wrong. Our society needs to repent and come to Christ and the church having a watered-down, secular worship service experience is not helping in that effort. It is making it worse.
The Church and
It’s Disregard for Children
There is a sad reality that the culture does influence the church, but what is even more sad is that it should be the other way around. The church should be the one shining as a beacon of light and truth in society because we have the words of God. We have the answers. We have the truth to set sinners free. Instead, what we are seeing is the church picking up the ideology of the culture rather than the Scriptures. This anti-children view has been slowly seeping into the church for quite some time.
Though there is a problem of people supporting abortion who claim to be “Christians”, this is not the direction I wish to go in this piece (see here for more). But this ideology has played a role in the thinking of the church. All of the things we discussed in the previous section are statics of evangelicals and non-evangelicals alike. We see that Christians are having the same amount of kids as unbelievers [8], not more. Even though the Christian Divorce rate has been corrected and more accurately measured, it is still a shocking number. 25% of Christian marriages end in divorce, making it one of the highest divorce rates of any other religion [9].
In other words, the church does not seem to be living much differently from our pagan society and this comes with consequences. One of the things I would like to draw our attention to is the segregation of children in the church. By this I specifically mean, removing our children from the assembly of the saints. Most churches today send the children away to a different room, another wing of the building, or a completely separate facility during Lord’s Day worship. In other words, when it comes time to meet with God and worship Him, we remove our children. Why is that?
I think that this question has a long answer. The short answer I wish to offer is seeker sensitivity. Many decades ago evangelicalism decided that in order to reach the culture we need to appeal to the needs and wants of the culture. They wrapped this move in the term seeker sensitive, but it was sold as a philosophy of ministry focused on being sensitive towards those seeking God. The fact of the matter is, that is not true. It turned out to be a model of church ministry that did not offer God, but offered “experiences.”
See, the culture is not seeking God. We know this because no one seeks God (Rom. 3:11). Instead, people seek pleasure and this is what the church decided to give them. Instead of the cold law and hot gospel, the church offered them a coffee bar in the lobby. Instead of the solid foundation of the word of God, the church offered them rock music. Instead of God-centered worship, the church offered them a self-centered motivational message. On top of all this, the church offered child care.
Child care, also known as children’s church, was sold as a way to reach parents with the gospel. The idea is that the parents would come and the church would take their kids so the adults could listen to the sermon. Most of the time you see this congregational transition after the singing has concluded. Children can participate in singing, but not listening; that is too hard for them. Or so we have been told. But what are the downstream effects of this decision to remove the children from corporate worship? Is this biblical? Is this what God wants? These are questions we should be asking ourselves.
For the most part, we have bought into the idea that children can’t get anything out of a sermon, so they should be ministered to separately through a friendly illustration or coloring book. Again, we are circling back to seeker sensitivity, not just for the parents but for the children now too. Do we not give children enough credit? An awful lot of this could stem from the fact parents are raising their children by the culture and not the word of God. If the child is rebellious and misbehaves regularly, then how can we expect them to sit through an hour-long worship service?
After examining these questions and scenarios most are prone to give up and throw the kids in children’s church. It’s simpler. Its easier. It’s better. But is it? Sometimes it is easier to not think through issues and just play along with the cultural norms. But we must consult with our Creator, not the culture. God tells us how we are to assemble and how we are to worship Him. Instead of letting pragmatism rule the day in God’s church, how about we let God’s word rule the day in Christ’s church?
God and His
Love for Children
“And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they were rebuking them. 16 But Jesus called for them, saying, “Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”
– Luke 18:15-17
These words of Jesus are also recorded in both Matthew and Mark’s gospel (Matt. 19:14; Mark 10:14). We must acknowledge that there is a proverbial element to what Jesus is saying here and that He is using the children around Him to illustrate a point about how one enters into His kingdom. Even though Jesus is teaching how we are to come by faith alone, without any achievements or accolades, fully dependent on God as little children, He still shows the heart of God towards children. Though Jesus is teaching on something greater, it cannot be missed that He loves children.
In the Old Testament God regularly expresses His concern for the children of the earth (Deut. 6:4-9; 10:18; Psalm 68:5; 127:3-5; Isaiah 54:13). Children are a great theme throughout the Bible. God desires to see families be fruitful and multiply so that they may fill the earth (Genesis 1:27-28; 9:1; 11:8). It is through the “seed“, (offspring), of the woman that the Messiah would come and crush the serpent’s head (Genesis 3:15). God uses “child” as a title to ascribe to His people (Exodus 4:22-23; Matt. 5:9; Rom. 8:14-17). The second person of the Holy Trinity identifies Himself as “Son” (Matt. 9:6; 12:8; 16:16; Mark 1:1; 15:39; 1 John 5:20).
You cannot begin to know God without understanding His attribute of love, particularly His love for children. God does not want children to be hindered from coming to Him. The Greek word translated as “hinder” in Luke 18:16, Matthew 19:14, and Mark 10:14 is κωλύω (kōlyō). The word means “to forbid“, “to keep from“, “to withhold a thing from anyone.” This is a serious thing Jesus is trying to communicate to us. We are commanded not to forbid, bar, or keep away, little ones from coming to Him. Not only are we not to hinder children but we are not to cause them to stumble either.
And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, 3 and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever therefore will humble himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea.
– Matthew 18:2-6
Again, these words of Jesus are recorded in Mark and Luke as well (Mark 9:42; Luke 17:2). Jesus is warning us against causing the little ones who believe in Him to stumble. He says that it would be better for the individual or group of people to be drowned in the depths of the sea than to do this evil thing. The consequences are so severe because the reward is so great. If you receive such a child in Jesus’ name, you receive Jesus Himself. This is not new or uncommon language to Jesus; regularly does He identify Himself with His people (Mat. 25:31-46; 1 Cor. 12:27; Acts 9:4; Eph. 4:12).
What is clear is that God loves children. God wants to see children come to Him, worship Him, and be welcomed by the rest of His people. Children are a part of the church. We do not need to exclude them, hinder them, or stumble them. We need to welcome them. We need to involve them. The children need to see their parents sing praises to God. The children need to see the visible signs of the New Covenant (Baptism and the Lord’s Supper). The children need to hear the saints pray together. The children need to hear the word of God read and preached. This is what the children need.
Why children often leave the church when they grow up to be teens or college-age is because they never were a part of the church. They were never conditioned to the assembly of the saints and the public worship of God’s people. Unless the church had employed a seeker-sensitive approach to their public worship as well. In this case, the children’s church and the main service would match very well. But this is not the goal. The mission of the church is to worship God, not to entertain experience-chasers.
The church needs to unhitch from the culture and be tethered to the Scriptures. We should lean on our Lord and His word instead of our own understanding. We should leave church growth philosophy alone and stick to what God has asked of us. We need to involve our children in church worship and train them in it (Eph. 6:4), because this is what God wants. He wants to see children come to Him.
Conclusion
I think it is fair to say that the evangelical church in America has been making a turn for the worse for some time now and the results are becoming more and more ugly. Liberalism, feminism, social justice, and anti-children dispositions, have been coming into the church with the help of the church. We have propped the front door wide open in the name of “reaching the lost,” but by this move, we have become lost. The church is losing its focus on God and what He says and instead has turned its focus on man and what he says. We must get back to a biblical understanding of the church.
Read Next: Children In The Old Testament Assembly
Works Cited
[1-2] Pew Research Center, Among young adults without children, men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents someday, by Carolina Aragão (February 15, 2024).
[3] BBC Science Focus, Human overpopulation: can having fewer children really make a difference?, by Jocelyn Timperley (January 21, 2020). and CNN, BirthStrike: The people refusing to have kids, because of ‘the ecological crisis’, by Stephanie Bailey (June 26, 2019). The Washington Post, Millennials aren’t having kids. Here’s why., by Andrew Van Dam (November 3, 2023).
[4-6] Pew Research Center, What the data says about abortion in the U.S., by Jeff Diamant, Besheer Mohamed, and Rebecca Leppert (March 25, 2024).
[7] The New York Times, Who Gets Abortions in America?, By Margot Sanger-Katz, Claire Cain Miller, and Quoctrung Bui (December 14, 2021).
[8] Pew Research Center, White evangelicals more likely than other Christians to say people should prioritize marriage, procreation, by Stephanie Kramer (December 16, 2021).
[9] Longworth Law Firm, P.C., Christian Divorce Rates.